There's this incredible lyricist named Derek Webb. I appreciate him deeply but he isn't for everyone. He challenges traditional thoughts and he writes in raw truth that may be considered offensive to sensitive ears. Truthfully, had I read his lyrics a year before my ears first heard the beautiful sounds and provoking words coming through my Pandora station, I would have shut my computer off faster than you can say "sinner." It was 2011 when I first heard his song "Wedding Dress" - still my favorite of his, lyrically speaking - and I've only continued to grow in appreciation of his lyrical genius.
If you are open to being challenged and provoked in the way of a whip coming through a temple, look him up and soak in the words that the Lord has placed on this man's heart.
Tonight, I found myself looking up his albums online with the intention of buying some, but not all, of his music (I have a history of spending far more money on music than I can currently justify as reasonable). My desire is to buy every one of his albums, but I'm trying to be financially responsible! I am grateful for this era of Spotify and Pandora, but I still like a good ole' fashioned CD.
As I researched, I found far more than I expected to read this evening. I found articles demeaning this man's work, labeling him, as religious people are so fond of doing. I found blogs written in speculation of what some of his lyrics mean. And then I found an interview in which Webb was asked about his series of songs "Lover" in particular. Something he said struck me:
"At the time, I was leaning very heavily into abstract language and I didn't know exactly what it was about." (Interview with Hannah Goodwyn of CBN Entertainment)
You see, for as long as I can remember, I have struggled with the seeming lack of "artsy" within me. My dad and both of his sisters studied graphic design - his sisters are both active designers. My mom is an English teacher by trade - she wrote poetry and even had some published! I, on the other hand, have always excelled at math and science. I studied biomedical engineering most of my undergrad education. So often you hear of artistic kids that struggle to fit within their parent's expectation of life pursuits. This brain child experienced just the opposite; I was considered to have wasted my time studying while my little sister was praised for drawing a turkey on the carpet. With markers (you think I'm kidding, my there is photographic evidence).
I think that's a part of why I've always longed for a touch of artistic creativity. Don't get me wrong. I do consider myself creative, but not with a canvas and paintbrush. I'm creative like MacGyver; give me a problem that needs solved functionally and you will be surprised at the inventive contraption I devise. But when I go to an art show, I lack connection with understanding what's before me. I so wish I could look at a piece and express what it makes me feel. Instead, I begin analyzing - using my mind - to determine what I see and what logical thoughts might be associated with the present elements. My thoughts are often fact-based. I want to know what the artist felt when she was drawing, what she wanted me to see, not spend time trying to figure out how I feel.
When I listen to a song, I want to understand the lyrics.
Tonight, I recognized a beauty in that Derek Webb, as the artist, didn't even know what the words meant that he had put to song over the last many years. Not until they had all been penned and produced did he discover the meaning behind his own lyrics. How I admire those who have learned to embrace such thinking! Feeling? I want to know every allegory present in his song "Heavy." I want to understand what it means to him. But that has never been the purpose. Instead, I should seek to gather the emotion he expresses while preforming the song. And that, I can grasp. This man has wrestled through much and how many things could he say have been "placed so high on the shelf"?
For the first time, I am starting to grasp the beauty of the unknown in art.
Seeking Love.
Pondering Love.
Always in Love.
