In church, we often here this phrase "come just as you are." It's the idea that God knows we are broken people, sinful, and he loves us even before we clean up our act. We can come in this broken state; we don't have to get clean before we come to him. Many churches today trumpet the same slogan, pasting it on billboards, in promo videos and in the handouts during a service.
But the reality? This phrase thrown around in our culture does not reflect the ugly truth of Jesus' heart. The church says so many things that she doesn't truly mean...
"Hate the sin, love the sinner [but from a distance, of course. You don't want to get caught up in that mess!]."
"Let's do life together [when it's convenient. We don't like to get bogged down by negativity. So that really tough stuff? You're better off keeping it to yourself]."
"Of course, I'm not perfect [technically, at least. I'm pretty close though and I'm definitely closer than you]."
"Come just as you are..." Come with the understanding that you cannot stay just as you are. There are standards and although you don't have to meet them today, you will be responsible for those standards in time. You can't stay the same and still be pleasing to us and absolutely not to God. Sure, he will still love you because he loves everyone, but he won't actually enjoy you or want to be around you. He's practically allergic to sin, after all. Only when you start to walk, talk and look like the rest of us cleaned-up church folk will you truly belong.
You see it, don't you? The people saying these phrases somehow miss the rest of the words which are drawn on the canvas of their actions and responses to real people instead of the nice thoughts drummed up in a Bible study. And we feel the truth - the obligation, the condition - and it sure as hell isn't appealing to anyone experiencing real life.
For years, I knew in my head that this particular phrase didn't match what the church functionally practices but it wasn't until recently that I experienced what I am convinced is the heart of Jesus.
Jesus doesn't simply say "come" as you are, he feels a genuine, heart-string-plucking desire for you as you are. He wants you as you are.
This isn't to say that he is sadistic. In an isolated sense, he doesn't love what is negative, harmful or destructive. But he desires you even in the midst of that. And he will continue to desire you even if those harmful things never leave you. Of course he will be excited when the time comes that you put those things aside, but he will never rush you the way the church does. His purpose and joy is in loving you. In time, that love will more than likely shape you and give you the confidence and courage to make changes in your life. But it is not an expectation. It would be an effect.
Do you see that very tight line we walk? I'm sure many people would read this and say "you're saying the same thing." But I urge you to consider the difference. People can read heart attitudes far better than words. Two people could say the exact same thing and it could be received incredibly differently depending on how the receiver hears the heart attitude of the speaker.
I heard it well said that "words are a weak instrument of love." So often we are confused when we say the right things and yet people don't respond to them. You know why? Because they see that our heart isn't in the words coming out of our mouth. How we live will sound much louder than any microphone used to communicate our appealing one-liners.
Further than that, we have to understand that love is not simply an action, but a genuine, powerful emotion that drives people to act illogically. Remember that many church people over the years have said that following Jesus isn't logical in the way of man. The way of man in our era today is to pursue logic and intellect. To do what is right. To do what is most advantageous. To do what causes the least pain.
Love born of the mind is not true love at all. It is the love that comes from the depths of your soul - even your bowels - that causes the tingles and drives the greatest yearning. That is real, emotional love that comes from the heart.
And that is the love that compelled Jesus to go to the cross. I cannot believe that in the Garden to Gethsemane the night he was betrayed, Jesus thought, "I will choose to love these people who have hurt me and are coming to take my life. It hurts, but I know this will please my Father and so I will choose love in spite of my anger and hurt for the way they are treating me."
No. I hear a man who says instead, "my heart so yearns for these people. I know they have hurt me and desire to kill me, but they have captured my heart and I can't stand the thought of losing them. I love them and I will suffer as they have decided but, oh, how I long for them to see and feel the love that I have for them! Father, forgive them - they are blind and do not recognize the harm of what they're doing. I love them - I yearn for them - I want them. I want them for who they are and I desire them to be free from the chains in which they have trapped themselves."
Do you see? Our sin is not repulsive to God. He simply recognizes the way that it harms us when we allow ourselves to remain in it. But sin - that terribly misunderstood word - has NOTHING to do with God's love for us. The church has a hard time grasping that truth. The church will expect you to change, almost as though it is your transaction for receiving God's love. But remember that the church is not Jesus. The church is his bride. And just as he loves you and wants you as you are, he yearns for his flawed bride in the very same way. Remember that no-strings attached love Jesus feels for you is the same love he feels for the "cleaned-up" church folk. He loves you, me and her with a desire that recognizes the harm we cause to ourselves and others, but he still wants us. Just as we are. And he will continue to want us, even if we never change. But he does desire that we change - for our sake, not for his.
I am a broken person and I cannot say that I want all of you as you are. I will leave that business of loving everyone to Jesus since he seems to be pretty good at it. But I have felt that love for a number of people in my life. I have had painful desires for the people who have hurt me the most. I recently felt this same love for a new acquaintance whose lifestyle I simply do not appreciate. Oh, but that love that pulls from my gut up into my throat, that is present regardless of it all. And that is a representation of the real love Jesus has for us. I may not want you as you are, but Jesus does. And I want my heart to be changed to want all of you as you are, not simply the few whom I do.
As for the words, I will only speak them when my heart is in line. To many of you, I want to want you as you are, but I truthfully do not. I say this from my head.
To a handful of you, I genuinely want you as you are. I hate the idea of separation from you and my desire for you is greater than even the greatest harm or negativity I have experienced. When I say I want you as you are, I say this from the depths of my heart.
Knowing Love.
Feeling Love.
Always in Love.
